Just call me Taylor Swift.

I'm seriously hoping this was my karmic payback for breaking up with Andy via text.
I cried at work for two hours basically. Ryan, the LP officer, cheered me up. There's nothing that a girl likes to hear more than "You're a nice looking girl, if I were single, I'd ask you out." Even if it is coming from a 35 year old.
I'm now reading Twilight because it's so involving (even though I'm pointing out grammar errors other technical issues CONSTANTLY) so I won't have to think about real life.
Unfortunately, I'd rather read that than do my homework.
Fuck my life. I can't win.
 

You know what I do and don't like? How much our past affects us. You have a bad experience; you learn from it and try to avoid it. That's the law of life, right? Supposedly. Unless we're stupid Americans who hardly respect history and go through cycles constantly with very little improvements. Anyway, that's hardly my point. Even though we learn from past situations, we still run into them again. The only thing we can do is leave once it's gets to that point or prepare yourself for the worst. After a certain point we think that the smallest reminder of those experiences mean, without a doubt, that the current situation is going to turn out the same.
Are we wrong in thinking that?
To a point, I believe so. The problem is, even when things aren't the same we still act in the same way out of habit and... paranoia because we're scared it will. After a while, the actions out of habit become a self-fulfilling prophecy and things ultimately end up the same.
There's my point. Our past does indeed shape our future, but if we're supposed to learn from our past mistakes in regards to certain situations how can we change the future when our emotions drive us to behave in the same manner?
And, if it is an interpersonal matter, how can we address the situation without sounding self-centered and conceited?

Life is tricky. Not hard, just tricky; difficult to maneuver.

3.14

I knew, I had felt it at 5:23.
The call came in after 5:30.
I prayed in futility,
Against the blurred scenery.
I knew, but still I prayed.

Quietly, black boots met white tile.
The walk seemed to be miles.
I felt again like a child;
I was lost and terrified.
Quietly, we walked the halls.

In that room, they had us sit.
Under stares, I fidget.
His eyes bloodshot and wet,
He said, “she didn’t make it.”
In that room, I doubled over.

Oh, how perfect life had been,
On that day, March 14
Before 5:23.
Then I changed for none to see,
Oh, how old I became.